Live Animal Keychains... cruel and disgusting

Just when you start to think human beings aren't terrible cruel creatures, something like this comes along and reminds you just how horrible people can be. This is absolutely disgusting... people in China are putting live animals in key chains. Turtles, fish, and small amphibious animals into plastic bags, attached to keys or cell phones, and left to slowly suffocate or starve to death. THEY ARE SEALED IN PLASTIC WHERE THEY EITHER SUFFOCATE OR STARVE TO DEATH!!!!. What. The. Fuck. And why do people do this? Because they think they are good luck.

Stuff like this makes me hate people, and gives me little hope for the human race. How can anyone think trinkets that cause animals to slowly die are acceptable. Good luck? GOOD LUCK??!!! This is torture! And it makes me sick to my stomach.

Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, but please sign the petition. Tweet about it. Facebook it. Tumblr it. Whatever your preferred social media outlet is, please use it to spread the word. Maybe, just maybe, it can help stop this barbaric act.

Bottled Water... more gross than golden showers

TP has consumed a lot of gross things as a slave, and drank a lot of pee, but nothing TP has ever put in his mouth is as bad as bottled water. Why? Because bottled water is wasteful, expensive, bad for the environment, and probably just tap water anyway.

TP has been drinking his water from a re-usable bottle for years. It goes with TP every where... home, work, road trips, flights. There is no reason to ever pay for water. It's probably tap water anyway, or even worse than tap water!

And plastic bottles are really bad for the environment. Think about how much petroleum is wasted making bottles used to get something that comes out of faucets in every home in the country. We're trying to save fossil fuels whenever we can, yet drinking water from plastic bottles that are likely to end up in a landfill. And of course all the energy wasted to ship something that is already flowing through pipes.

So instead of spending your hard earned money on something that is almost free to begin with, plan ahead and fill your re-usable bottle, and then spend the savings on your Mistress.

Nice Sweater...

TP took this picture back when it was cold enough to wear a sweater, and so you'd think the small dick was because of shrinkage due to the cold. Nope. Just a tiny dick peaking out.

Dick Drawer Slam

Lady Madeline wanted TP to slam his dick in a drawer. This really scared TP. TP was worried it was going to do some serious damage, or possibly even get chopped off. Everyone on twitter didn't help me calm down about it, but TP did it anyway because it was an order from his Mistress. It's really hard to hurt yourself, so TP probably didn't slam the drawer as hard as possible, but it did hurt. Luckily it didn't catch or get pinned in an awkward way, and there was no damage.

Diarrhea Public Humiliation...It's Coming Out!

Lady Madeline wanted TP to humiliate himself in public today, so she instructed TP to do the "diarrhea thing". That is when TP asks a stranger to point out the nearest bathroom, but in a very urgent and embarrassing way. TP is to  look desperate, act like he is trying to hold it in, and declare that he has very bad diarrhea that is "coming out". Mistress wants TP to awkwardly offer more information than necessary and to look very stupid as he does this. So TP did this today at a pet store. TP was recording a video as he went up to a cute girl, and this is the result. You can't really see anything because TP had his phone by his side, but you can hear the conversation.

You can probably hear TP asking about the bathroom and saying the diarrhea is coming out. TP said that a few times, and every time he did the girl gave him a really weird look. She thought TP was a freak! But she did tell TP where the bathroom was, and the code to get in, before he ran off. She really thought TP was a weirdo.

Later when TP came out of the bathroom he saw the same girl talking to two other workers, a guy and a girl. TP stood out of their site in the aisle across from them to try and hear what they were talking about. The guy left, and gave TP a strange look as he passed him. This left the two girls to talk. TP could not hear exactly what they said, but he heard a lot of giggling and then really loud laughter.

TP did his shopping, then walked passed them as he was leaving the store, and got more strange looks from them. He looked back as he went to make his purchase, and they were still staring at TP from across the store like he was a crazy person. They watched TP all the way up to the cash register and then out of the front door.

It was clear that they were talking about, and laughing at TP, and every worker in the store probably now knows about the weird guy that told her he almost shit his pants.

Lady Madeline found this to be very funny.