Slave Memories: SPH Online and In Person

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Mistress and slave Fighting Sexism

Lady Madeline is once again using her powers for good rather than evil by giving me a new assignment....fighting sexism in advertising. Just like her orders for me to write letters to companies that test on, or mistreat animals, she is now ordering me to start another letter writing campaign. Tiny will be compiling a list of commercials that are sexist, and once Mistress gives her approval, Tiny will start writing complaint letters.

My Mistress is an amazing woman, and orders like this are only part of the reason why. She could stick to assignments that humiliate me, but why stop there? Her control over me is a great way to attempt to make some changes for the better. Her ownership has made me a better person, so it is only natural that it should make the world a better place too.

And it is still a form of torture because it forces Tiny to pay attention to TV commercials which mostly suck.

Team....Poopcup?

It's a classic story. Boy likes girl. Girl doesn't like boy. Boy won't leave girl alone. Girl and her friends make jokes about boy drinking out of a poop cup. OK well maybe it's not really a classic, but it's happening on twitter. Go ahead and search for #TEAMPOOPCUP and you'll see what Tiny is talking about.

At some point Tiny got mixed up in all the #POOPCUP craziness. And GG Allin did too. Somebody made a joke about GG's tiny dick, and my tiny dick, and it all ended up becoming #POOPCUP memes.
Does this make any sense? It still doesn't to me. But the end result are these #TEAMPOOPCUP tiny penis memes. So what do you think? Is Tiny's tiny penis as small as GG Allin's tiny penis?

The R-Word is NOT ACCETABLE

Being the slave of Lady Madeline has made me a better person. Her rules force me to be smarter and more responsible. So when Tiny uses a stupid word like "retard" he knows it is not acceptable. Tiny is not allowed to use that word. Mistress forbids it. Instead she has me follow Dan Savage and substitute the word "leotard". She is not just a controlling Mistress that makes me do humiliating things for her amusement.....she is a good person that makes me a better person.

A few days ago Tiny messed up on twitter and accidentally used the word "retard". Tiny would like to apologize to anyone that was offended. It would be insensitive to say something like that even if Lady Madeline did not have a rule about it. Tiny tries his hardest not to use the R-word, but even one mess up is not acceptable.

Tiny is very very sorry.

Weekend Service to Mistress

Last weekend Lady Madeline was kind enough to actually pay attention to me a little and allow me to serve her quite a bit. Here is a quick recap...

Saturday she mainly had me doing slave secretary work. She is a very busy woman, and can't be bothered to work on all the mundane tasks that seem to get in the way of her real work and her leisure time. So she sent me a few texts with orders such as finding flights and doing some banking research. She seemed pleased with my work and told me she would have more orders for me after sundown. It was Yom Kippur so she was waiting until after sundown to give me more orders, but the orders never came that night. After waiting patiently all night my conclusion was that she was enjoying her Saturday night with her real man, who is of course well hung, and didn't want to be bothered with me.

Sunday morning was a different story. There was a text waiting for me after waking up that wasn't unexpected.....piss cubes. She wanted me to make a batch of piss cubes to use for the day. She wanted me to suck on them and put them in my drinks. So my first piss of the day was into an ice cube tray and into the freezer it went.

She had also texted me orders to wear panties and a maxi pad all day. The panties is a fairly common order, but she had never ordered me to wear a maxi pad before. It felt pretty stupid to wear one. Of course most men would find it really odd to have their dick inside panties and a maxi pad, but my dick is more like a clit anyway. It felt out of the ordinary, but not wrong.

Wearing panties and a maxi pad around the house is humiliating enough, but leaving the house is a different story. Mistress said she wanted me to wear the panties and pad all day, so when it was time to go to a work function they were still under my shorts. It felt pretty stupid to be wearing that stuff in public, especially in a room full of women. The humiliation would get worse though. Mistress sent me another text, this time with orders to pee my pants. Not while at the work function, but on the way home. She said to do it when almost home. Hopefully not too many people would see. About a block away Tiny stopped walking, pretended to look at something on the phone, and tried to piss. It's not easy to piss your pants. Every instinct says to hold it, but eventually a stream of pee started flowing. It started slow, and the maxi pad was absorbing a lot of it, but eventually it really started to come out. Maybe Tiny had relaxed after struggling to start. Eventually my shorts were soaking wet, and there was a puddle on the side walk. There were people around, but it isn't likely they saw. Tiny did walk past some people on that last block of the walk though, and they had to have seen my wet shorts. Here's some proof of my public pants pissing.....

Once Tiny was home it was time to chat with Mistress! As we chatted she made sure there was a piss cube in my mouth. It's so nasty to suck on a block of my frozen pee, but Lady Madeline thinks it is hilarious. She seems to really enjoy making me do disgusting things for her amusement. After the piss cube had melted in my mouth it was time to drink a glass of water. This glass wasn't that refreshing though, because it was also full of piss cubes that were slowly melting.

Mistress was very kind to chat with me for a very long time. Because of our busy schedules it had been quite some time since we talked. She wanted to make sure Tiny was still following her rules. The main rules she makes me follow at all times are 1) always sit to pee like a woman, and 2) always eat my cum. Of course that is only when she allows me to actually cum. She also wanted to check and make sure there had been no cheating on the orgasms she allows me. It is impossible for Tiny yo lie to her, so when she asks she gets the truth. Tiny doesn't cheat though. He is knows it is important to follow her rules.

We continued to chat about how pathetic my penis is, and she re-read some old emails that had humiliating stories about my little dick. She of course added her thoughts on the matter, and you can guess what she thinks about a tiny clit dick.

She then had me do a strip tease video. Any readers that are actually out there are lucky she does not make me share videos like that on this blog. It's amazing she can watch a strip tease video of me without getting sick. Tiny is disgusting. Fat and gross and gross and disgusting.....with a teeny tiny penis. It was so humiliating to send that video to her. Hopefully she never shows anyone else.

After some more chatting she  had me do some more secretary work and help her with some school projects, and then it was pillow humping time! Mistress likes to make me hump my pillow when she allows me to have a release. First she wanted me to pinch my balls 15 times and punch my nuts 10 times, and stick a small cucumber in my ass. Here is the cucumber sticking out of my ass, covered in one of my tiny condoms.

Lady Madeline then allowed me to hump my pillow...the same pillow Tiny sleeps on. She lets me put a towel down though first. She is so nice to me. While pillow humping, with the cucumber in my ass, she made me repeat "I am Mistress Madeline's bitch" over and over. It didn't take my baby dick long to cum all over the towel. My small amount of jizz was of course all licked up. Mistress told me to take a shower after finishing my cum, so that was the end of a great weekend of service.

Penis Lifts

Mistress ordered me to do some penis lifts, probably not because she thinks it will make my little dick bigger, but because she thought it would be funny to see. Most real men use some kind of weight when doing a penis lift, but she told me to use a pair of panties because that's all the weight my baby dick could handle. For some reason my tiny penis would not stay hard when the video started. It is so sad that it's not only small, but it also gets stage fright. If my dick can't stay hard then there's no hope for my porn career. Of course there aren't many roles for little dicked losers in porn anyway.

short clip of my small dick attempting penis lifts....

Peeing with a Tiny Penis....another video

Mistress has made me sit to pee for some time now, because with a dick like mine it makes no sense to pee standing like a real man with a real penis. She did want me to document peeing like a man does though, to show how ridiculous it is for me.

clip of me standing to pee with my tiny dick....

This is the second video of me peeing like this, but the first one was from my perspective. In order to film it, the camera had to be in my hand. She wanted a more accurate video, so this time the camera was sitting on the counter.

As you can see, my teeny tiny penis barely stick out of the fly of my jeans. My hands don't really hold and aim my penis....they really just hold my pants back so my clit-dick has room to stick out. And shaking it is kind of hard to do since it is so tiny. It is easy for me to get pee on my fingers when peeing like a man does, so she wanted to be sure to tell me to wash my hands. That is very important for all men to do, but especailly for "men" with dicks that are more like clits.

Slave Memories: Helping Mistress Move

Part of the reason Lady Madeline chose me to be one of her houseboys many years ago was the close proximity of our apartments, so it was sad news to hear she was going to move into a new neighborhood. It seems silly now considering we live thousands of miles apart, but at the time living in another neighborhood seemed so far away.

Mistress has had a very busy summer this year, and she is currently busy with moving into a new place. That reminded me of her move in my houseboy days, and how she allowed me to help her move. It was such an honor to be trusted with all of her valuable possessions. Not every slave gets to be a part of an important day like that. In fact, the only other person that helped was a friend of hers. Tiny would be the only one wearing her collar that day as we lifted all of her furniture up the stairs to her new place. The funny thing is, it seemed like her friend was jealous of me! You could tell he wanted to wear a collar with a tag that had Lady Madeline's name on it. That made me feel extra special.

It was kind of odd to have her collar on all day in public. Most of the time was spent in her old and new apartment, but we did make one stop to pick up some couches she bought. The couches were at some guy's apartment, and he had been told about her life as a Dominatrix and that a slave might be stopping by to get the couches. So while he wasn't surprised to see me wearing a collar, it was still kind of strange to be so open about it in a stranger's house.

Moving is always a lot of work, and moving Mistress's things was no exception. Of course her two helpers did almost all of the work. She bossed us around while we did the heavy lifting....as if it would be any other way. She did let me have water, but only out of a bowl like a dog. Her friend got to drink out of a glass.

At the end of the day we went to return the truck she had rented. It was after hours so we were supposed to park it near the rental place. She was riding with me in the passenger seat as we pulled into a parking spot in a dark corner of the city behind a van. As we were about to get out of the truck she noticed the van moving in front of us. It was rocking back and forth.....and we could see people inside. They were fucking! The van in front of is was rocking back and forth as they fucked! Our trucks headlights were shining in the windows so they stopped and started yelling at us. Mistress started to slap my arm while yelling at me to get out of there! She assumed it was a prostitute in the van, and wanted to avoid any awkwardness. She kept yelling at me to back up, but her friend was right behind is in his car to give us a ride back. There was nowhere to go! We were stuck between a hooker in a van and her friend that couldn't see what was going on. We backed up anyway and he must have got the hint because he did too, and then we pulled away fast, with the trucks tires screeching, and found another place to leave the truck. It was a very bizarre ending to a long day.

Slave Memories: The Cost of a Ride... Nut Punches

Usually finishing my houseboy chores at Lady Madeline's apartment meant getting dressed, removing my collar, kissing Mistress's feet, and taking her garbage out on my way out. On one special day we both were leaving at the same time, and we both happened to be going in the same direction. She was going someplace where very lucky people were going to get to hang out with her, and my destination was on her route. You are not going to believe this, but she offered me a ride! How lucky for such a pathetic slave like me! It was such an honor to get to ride in her car, and she let me sit in the passenger seat and did not make me ride in the trunk like a pathetic piece of her property. She has always been so nice to me, and offering the ride was very helpful.

As we pulled up to the corner where she was dropping me off, she ordered me to spread my legs and keep them spread. After a second of confusion on my part, she slammed her fist into my balls multiple times. Of course my natural reaction was to flinch, but she still nailed my nuts hard a few times. Her nut punches caused intense pain as she ordered me out of the car and pulled away laughing.

Dick Punches

Mistress ordered me to punish myself by punching my little dick ten times. It's hard to count while punching yourself, so there ended up being eleven dick punches. Self inflicted CBT isn't the same as when Mistress does it. But unfortunately Lady Madeline is very far away. Hopefully she enjoys seeing this, but she surely would rather be doing it herself.

Tiny is an annoying pest and a twit.....and is sorry.

My Mistress sent me this email today, and she is not very happy with me. My only job is to make her happy, yet all Tiny seems to do is annoy her. This makes Tiny sad. Tiny is very sorry to be a pest, Mistress. Tiny will do better from now on. Tiny promises to be amusing, not annoying. Tiny is sorry.

Enough with communicating with me via twitter DM and @ posts. SO ANNOYING! You expect me to be inconvenienced to come find you all over the internet or receive pestering email notifications about your stupid @ messages so I have to sign in there when you could email me directly here? FUCKING CONSOLIDATE. And you BETTER post an apology for me publicly admitting your irksome behavior. Since you have no life anyway you can re-post this email in your blog too so people see how much you've fucked up-- unless you're too ashamed, which you should be. Do it anyway. 

Notice I've been ignoring you lately? It's because it's too irritating to get these fucking tidbits all the time! You used to remember to save it all for a weekly email update and now you've slipped into dropping these penis-centered mini-comments like turds all over my inbox daily. (Mini is no surprise since they match your dick size so no wonder you like the 140 character thing....that and utter laziness.)

Do better, NOW. If you weren't hiding in the Midwest I'd slap you into next week and pulverize your balls so it's highly unsatisfying that the punishments I dole out are usually about orgasm denial or just neglecting you instead of cathartic sadism. But you're used to not satisfying women, aren't you, dickless? Speaking of release allotment, you have NONE until the 4th of July when you celebrate your non-independence. 
Also, I demand you make video of yourself punching your minuscule dick ten times (and *hard*) ASAP. 

When you can't think of anything else to do except play around on twitter all day, remember you can always write blog entries about being a dickless pansy, can't you? Give us all some laughs. You may still post to twitter but only because it humiliates you and also other Mistresses keep you in check which I like. Being a big fat baby you need constant supervision. 

AND GET WORKING ON THOSE ETIQUETTE TRAINING videos, slacker! Privacy is a lame excuse; do them in the bathroom in silence. 

Lastly, I can't believe I even have to say this but you will do AT LEAST ONE charity act before the end of July. I suggest you volunteer in a soup kitchen. You may submit proposals for other ideas if you are drawn towards another service act and then wait for my approval. Donation via money is acceptable but let me know where it's going and email/send me documentation. (With in person acts I trust you will be honest.) In short, you are not just a servant to me and of course animals, but also a servant to humanity at large. Once a month (minimum) you will devote time and/or money to this endeavor. 

You are only allowed 3 twitter posts today so use them well!  

Mistress

Peeing with a Tiny Dick.....the video!

Mistress hasn't let me pee standing up like a man for some time now. It makes sense, since my penis is more like a clit than a real dick. Sitting down to pee is now the norm, so it was actually a little weird to pee standing up for the video she requested. She wanted to see what it looks like for such a small penis to pee standing up. Since she only allows me to pee sitting, this might be the last standing piss ever to come out of my minuscule dick.

As you can see, my thimble dick barely makes it past the fly of my jeans. And there isn't much shaft to grab onto. Some guys don't wash their hands after they pee, which is disgusting, but maybe their dick are so long that the end is nowhere near their fingers. With my dick it's almost impossible not to get some pee on my fingers.

Not only does my little acorn penis barely stick out of the fly, but my fat belly keeps getting in the way. The only way for me to see my dick is to lean forward. It's pretty sad really. Without being able to easily see it, and with it being so small, it's easy to forget it's there at all.

My Name is Tiny

My name really isn't Tiny, obviously, but that's what Lady Madeline wants me to call myself. Actually, she wants me to use third person. This has been going on for awhile now, mostly. Tiny does use "me" and "mine" which is technically not third person, but her actual rule is no using "I".

Maybe she thinks it is funny to make me use funny names. Maybe she wants to take my focus off of myself. Maybe it's both. Either way, she told me not to use the word "I". You may have noticed this in the last few blog entries. Instead of "I", Tiny has used names like Babydick, Lil'dick, Tinypeen, and her favorite....Fatty McDickless. Mistress really thought that one was funny. It became simply Fatty for a long time, but she has grown tired of it. She thought about making me use Fat Pig, or FP for short, but she wanted the new name to remind everyone of the tiny penis between my legs....so "Tiny" it is. It's a good name. Of course, anything she calls me is a good name.

Slave Memories: Actual Size

Here is a quick slave memory......As you can tell by the title of this blog, my overall size is pretty big. And it makes my tiny penis seem even smaller. Well, even though my body is big enough to be called Fatty, Fatty feels small when around Lady Madeline. Her control over me looms so large that my actual size is meaningless. But the thing is, she is very petite. She is way shorter than me. You could even call her small. But Fatty never seemed to notice his size relative to her until one day while out shopping. It was always such an honor to be seen with Mistress in public. There is no way that anyone would ever think we were together, but even if they thought we were friends would be a huge boost to my ego. While shopping together in a Walgreens one day, Fatty caught a glimpse of us in one of those mirrors they use to be able to see the whole store, and it hit me.....she is tiny compared to me! Yes that should be obvious, and Fatty knew she was smaller, but for some reason Fatty felt so small when with her. It was almost as if my physical size was dwarfed by her awesomeness. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but to me it was a small moment that really reinforced her standing in my life.

Fatty McDickless

In case anyone is wondering why Mistress likes to refer to me as Fatty McDickless...

Slave Memories: The First Session

It had been a couple years since my last session with a Dominatrix when it happened.....her website appeared on my new computer's screen. As a "retired" submissive guy in a new city, curiosity got the best of me and soon my computer was seeking out all of the Dominant Women in San Francisco. After telling myself that there was no need to session anymore, the perfect Domme was right there in my new town. It was a self-imposed retirement, and there really was no plans to session again, but that was not taking Lady Madeline into account. Her website kept calling out to me. Of course her pictures were the main attraction. She is an incredibly beautiful woman. Her pictures were amazing. She looked like the Domme of my dreams, but looks alone were not going to be enough to make me book a session.

There were a lot of good, and bad, websites for bay area Dommes, but her's was so simple and beautifully designed and well-written. And that red she used was perfect. And yeah her pictures... they are worth mentioning again. So my retirement didn't last long before this small-dicked loser got the courage to email her.

That first email made me nervous because she had mentioned on her website that grammar was very important to her. Messing up on the first email would be a huge mistake. The send button was hit, and then the wait began. My patience was not as good as it is today, but that was before her training. Who knows how many times my email was checked hoping for a reply...probably hundreds of times. Finally something new in my inbox! My grammar must have been good enough.

After a couple emails, and nervous phone conversations, the details were set. My first session in years was booked with the Dominant Woman of my dreams. The day of the session arrived and, as instructed, this nervous loser called her when close to the location. Those phone calls were terrifying because of my nerves. In fact, phone calls to Mistress are still terrifying. She intimidates me so much that my nerves are shot whenever dialing her number.

Speaking of nerves when calling her, it sometimes makes me so nervous that it causes a few quick dry heaves. This is embarrassing to admit, but that's her effect on me. Total intimidation.

Finally it was time. Time to meet Lady Madeline in person. The doorway to her play space was covered in a huge flowering plant, and it was like walking into a cave. When she opened the door it was hard to believe, but she was more beautiful than in her pictures, and her pictures were amazing. This is not an exaggeration at all...she is incredibly beautiful.

After saying something stupid like a huge dork we climbed the stairs to the second floor where this dork mumbled more stupid things. She wasn't saying much, but letting me be an idiot. She instructed me to remove my clothes and watched me as her instructions were followed. This is when her famous smirk made its first appearance. She has this mischievous smirk that is both terrifying and gorgeous at the same time. Anyone that has seen it will never forget it. Anyone that has seen it as they take their pants off will be haunted by it forever. That was the first time she saw my tiny pathetic mini penis. She didn't say anything. Her smirk said it all.

This is also when Fatty McDickless produced the tupperware.....a tupperware full of my own cum. This was something we had discussed when planning the session. It was a fantasy of mine to be made to eat a lot of cum, or to receive a facial, so a lot of cum was needed. It seems funny now that the days leading up to my first ever session with her were spent masturbating, since she rarely allows me to do that now, but we had to get all that cum from somewhere right? So it had been in my fridge, getting fuller and fuller with each jerk off session, before the day of our first meeting. It wasn't hard to find the motivation to masturbate, knowing what was coming up soon.

The strange thing is, the details and chronology of the actual session are a bit of a blur. It has been eight years, so maybe that is understandable. Some things still stand out though....

First, her examining me and my disgusting naked body. Looking me up and down. Grabbing my pathetic genitals, and commenting that my balls looked kind of big in relation to my tiny penis.

Second, the slaps and squeezes and torture she applied to my little cock and balls. She really nailed them quite a few times.

Third, being allowed to kiss her feet....what an honor!

Fourth, when she used a large dildo to really beat my balls hard. She said she really wanted me to take some hard hits, and that she would be pleased with me after. She had me lying on the floor, tied down, and legs spread. She then reared back with this large dildo and wailed on my balls. She really nailed them a few times.

Fifth, still on my back on the floor, with her pouring a tupperware full of multiple loads of my cum in my mouth, and laughing while she was doing it. She said she knew part of the fantasy was to receive a facial, but she didn't care. She wanted me to eat it all. She gave me the impression that this was kind of creative on my part, to bring all this cum for her to use in the session, and that she was really entertained by it. She finished by placing the empty tupperware on my face, still laughing at me.

Sixth....the first golden shower she ever gave me. The first of many, but nobody knew that at the time. Luckily there would be more, because my performance was sad. Way too much of it was spilled and not swallowed. Not one drop of her golden nectar should ever be wasted, but when some of it went up my nose it caused me to miss some. My pathetic performance in this first opportunity to be her toilet is one of my biggest regrets as a slave.

It was an amazing session, despite my shortcomings (pun intended). After not sessioning in years, and thinking this would be another one time thing, Fatty McDickless knew he desperately wanted to serve her again. And to think that eight years later she is still giving me the honor of being her slave. Lady Madeline's deliveryboy/cumeater/small-dicked loser is the luckiest slave in the world, and it all started that day.

Putting the "Fat" in Fat and Tiny

Wow, these pictures are gross. It's unbelievable that Mistress was able to stomach me walking around in her apartment wearing nothing but panties while Fatty McDickless did his houseboy duties for her. She ordered me to post some pictures of my fat ass in panties, so here they are.

A very nice lady at Sears helped me pick them out. At first she was a little surprised that they were for me, but then helped me find the biggest panties they had. She did laugh at me when Fatty was hiding them while carrying them in the store. She told me to go ahead and not be ashamed! There's nothing wrong with wearing them. But she was laughing as she told me this.

Slave Memories: Laundry and a Kiss of Her Foot

Back when my Mistress was only a short walk away, as opposed to a long plane ride, spontaneous opportunities to serve her were a realistic possibility. On one such occasion, a beautiful Saturday afternoon, my fat ass was actually going to attempt to get some exercise by playing basketball. On my walk to the court my phone rang. Depending on who Fatty McDickless was with, it wasn't always possible to answer the phone when she called. Luckily, this was one time Lil'Dick was able to answer.

Mistress wanted me to do her laundry! What an honor! This loser was about to be in contact with her most intimate items. Of course, even though there was temptation, nothing disrespectful was ever done with her clothes.

So Fatty went past the park and straight to her apartment to pick up her dirty clothes. Before Lil'Dick walked the couple blocks to the laundromat, he had to put his collar on. It was exciting wearing the collar in public. The laundromat was mostly empty, but there were some people that had to notice. They probably couldn't read the tag though...."property of Lady Madeline"

Because basketball, and not laundry, was on the agenda for the day, this small-dicked dork didn't have anything to read to pass the time. But that was fine. It was more time to think about Mistress.

After the laundry was done and folded, Baby Dick took the laundry back to his Mistress. Both Mistress and her slave were running late at this point, so we both hurried off. But this slave heard his Mistress calling his name as he crossed the street to leave. She was calling out my real name....probably because of the public setting. She never called me by my real name. She only used my slave name or insults. It was kind of nice to hear.

So Loserboy hurried back to Mistress to see what she wanted, but she didn't say a word. She simply put her foot out. In the rush to leave we skipped the only good part about leaving her....kissing her feet. No words were spoken. All that happened was a very happy slave kissing his Mistress's feet. It was a lot more fun than playing basketball.

Sacrificing for Mistress During Lent

Since my Catholicism is non-existent these days, giving up something during this time of year is not as high of a priority as it used to be....until now. Sure, the Catholic church has lost me, but the church of Lady Madeline has not. There should still be sacrifices on my part, but they are done in honor of my Mistress now.

She was not too happy with my attitude recently, and wanted a suggestion to redeem myself. Giving up something for Lent for her was suggested, and she really liked it. She decided what the sacrifices will be....

1. The word "I" is not permitted in any blog posts, tweets, or emails. She suggested using derogatory 3rd person words when referring to myself. Her favorite so far is Fatty McDickless. This is hard to do, but has made me choose my words wisely. The focus of my sentences is more on her than me these days.

2. No meat eating allowed. At all. This is hard for my carnivorous fat ass. But it is a good opportunity to eat healthily.

3. She generously allows one release a week, during sex or by myself. If it is done by myself, it must be accompanied with some pain, and my hand is not allowed to touch my tiny penis.

4. No teasing or touching or edging of my penis at all.

5. This is not a sacrifice, but something to be done. She wants me to do something positive for animals. That is a great idea. She is so wise.

Slave Memories: Dinner with Mistress....sort of

Before Lady Madeline allowed me into her home to serve as her houseboy she had me meet her at a cafe to talk about some rules I would have to follow. I'm pretty sure she just wanted to get to know me a little better before allowing me into her home. So she ordered me to meet her at a place in her neighborhood for a bite to eat and a little talk.

It was Christmastime, and I was going to fly home the next day, so I was running around trying to finish my shopping before I left. I was rushing to get to the cafe on time, carrying a ton of shopping bags, and saw her sitting at a table in the window when I walked up. I walked up to her and said something stupid. I really don't remember what it was, but I was nervous and flustered from from rushing there. She pointed out that I was almost late and yelled at me for saying the stupid thing.

I wasn't sure if I should sit down or not, so I did nothing. eventually she told me to sit at the next table, because I was not allowed to sit with her. I was pretty excited about being out in public with her. She is so beautiful, and for a dope like me to be with her would be pretty cool. Of course she was thinking the opposite, so there was no way I was going to be allowed to sit with her. The place was almost entirely empty, so sitting one table away was no problem.

She had me order some food at the counter for her, and then we discussed some of the rules I was to follow while I was at home visiting my family over the holiday. She of course restricted the amount of releases I could have, and she also wanted me to post daily on a message board that she used to frequent. Then she gave me a note with an order on it. I was to immediately go to the restroom, masturbate, and eat my cum. At first I thought this is a great order, but as soon as I got into the bathroom I felt kind of silly. She was sitting out there knowing what I was doing. I felt pressure to finish too. It was a pretty exciting way to masturbate compared to what I was usually doing.

When I returned her food was ready, so I got it from the counter and brought it to her. She allowed me to have a drink. I took my seat at the next table facing her as she ate. After a minute she looked up at me and loudly told me to switch seats so I would be facing away from her. She didn't want me staring at her and creeping her out. When I stood up to take another seat I noticed that two women were sitting at the next table. They must have come in while I was in the bathroom because I did not notice them before. The place was still mostly empty and very quiet, and they definitely heard her order me to face away from her. And then in my new seat I sat facing directly at them. I saw a few smirks from them as I sat there like an idiot looking in their direction.

So I did get to be seen in public with my Mistress. Not in the way I was expecting, but in the way I deserved.

Punishments 3 and 4: Do Eat the Yellow Snow

After picking my own punishments the first and second time, Lady Madeline picked the last two. And of course she did not make it easy on me. I used to drink her pee a lot when I lived near her, but obviously that is impossible now that I am about 1800 miles away. So now me makes me drink my own pee. I guess since I am her property, my pee IS her pee right? At least that's what I tell myself to make it less gross.

Usually I drink my pee as fast as I can because it is so unpleasant, but this time she wanted me to drink it in public. That was punishment number three. I couldn't chug it to get it over with. I had to take sips in a public place. So I pissed in a water bottle and went for a walk to find a place to sip the urine. The pee in the bottle could have been an energy drink or soda or something, so I seriously doubt anyone would assume it was piss, but I was still nervous. if I did get caught drinking pee I didn't want to be in a store I usually go to, so I stopped into a discount shoe store that I've never been to before. The store was full of middle aged women, and I know she wanted me to do it in front of people, so that would work. I browsed the men's section for awhile, and then pulled the bottle out of my pocket.

As I took my first sip another shopper made direct eye contact with me. I am sure she had no idea what I was actually drinking. At least I think so. It was hard not to make a gross face after tasting the piss. I kept drinking around other shoppers and workers, and people saw me, but I don't think they knew what was really happening.

Now it was time for punishment number four.....eating yellow snow. It is pretty warm for February, and most of the snow from the blizzard a couple of weeks ago is gone, but there is still some left. The fourth punishment was to pour some of the pee in the snow and then eat it. Mistress was hoping someone would see me, and since it was a nice day there were a lot of people out walking around. I was worried more that someone would wonder why I was making a snow cone with my drink and less that they would be grossed out by what the drink was. A few people did walk and drive by while I was eating the snowball, but I don't think anyone saw me making it. The snow was so cold that I didn't taste the pee much, so it wasn't as bad as drinking it. I still felt like an idiot though.

Punishing Myself for Mistress: Part 2

Because I did not follow her rules about posting to this blog, my Mistress, Lady Madeline, asked me to come up with two punishments that I could do to myself. The first was recapped here. I just completed the second on Valentine's day. Here's what happened...

She liked an idea I had that was inspired by something she had me do years ago when I was her houseboy. I had lots of chores as her houseboy, including checking her Post Office box when she was expecting a gift from a distant slave. She couldn't be bothered to waste her valuable time at the post office. It's too bad I can't do this for her anymore, since I am now a long distance slave myself. The inspiration for my punishment was the time she had me put the key to the PO box in a condom, and insert it in my ass, leaving the condom hanging out so I could retrieve the key. Luckily a key isn't very big, but she still found it amusing.

So I offered to write out "I will follow Mistress Madeline's rules" 100 times, fold it up, put it in a small container, put that in a condom, and put it in my ass for as long as she wanted. Writing that out gave me time to really think about how bad I had been. I am supposed to follow her rules. What's the point of being a slave if I don't? I was tired of disappointing her, and this was a reminder, 100 times, to do better. My purpose is to amuse her and to serve her, not to be a nuisance that can't follow orders. I will follow Mistress Madeline's rules. I WILL follow Mistress Madeline's rules.

So I folded the paper, seen here, and tried to put it into the small container I had. But I hadn't anticipated how big the folded paper would be. It wasn't going to fit in the small container, so I decided to just put the paper in the condom and stick that in my ass. I folded it as small as I could, and put some lotion on it for lube, but I had a little trouble getting it in. I finally got it inserted, leaving most of the condom out so I could grab it and pull the paper out later, and attempted to get some work done. Sitting with this paper in my ass was very distracting. It was impossible to get anything done. I could only think of my Mistress, which was the point.

After about forty minutes the phone rang. I had somewhere to be later that afternoon, but plans had changed and had to leave now. The problem was that Mistress told me to keep the paper in my ass for an hour. I couldn't stall my appointment, so I had to leave with it still in my ass.

Twenty minutes later I was about halfway to my destination, but since the hour was up I decided to take the paper out. Otherwise I would have to leave it in for a lot longer once I got to my destination. So I stopped in a fast food restroom stall and tried to get it out of my ass.....tried is the key word. In the last hour the paper had moved pretty far up my ass. The condom was still sticking out, but barely. There wasn't much to grab onto. When I did pull on it, the paper didn't budge. The condom was really stretching but nothing was coming out. It felt like the condom was going to break. What happened was the paper had unfolded some while it was in my ass, and wasn't going to come out as easily as it went it. I kept pulling on the condom, but it kept stretching and stretching. The paper was not moving.

At this point I started to panic. This was taking too long. I had an appointment to get to. But even worse was the fear that the condom was going to break and the paper would be stuck in my ass. I thought I was going to become a funny story for an ER nurse to tell her friends....the dumbass with paper stuck in his butt. I was freaking out.

I kept pulling, and pushing, and moaning in pain, and eventually it started to move. I am pretty sure other people came into the bathroom while I was in the stall making a lot of noise, but I didn't care. All I could think about was getting that paper out of my ass.

Eventually I got it out, and after washing my hands I rushed off to my appointment with a sore asshole. I think after all that I have definitely learned my lesson....I will follow Mistress Madeline's rules.

Punishment Up My Ass

One of the punishments that I suggested to my Mistress was to write out "I will follow Mistress Madeline's rules" 100 times, fold it up in a condom, and insert it in my ass for as long as she wants.

I just finished writing it, so right now this is folded up in my ass, and will be for the next hour.

Tiny Dick, Tiny Hat

Well, my Mistress Madeline thought the last picture of my little dick wearing a tiny hat was funny, but wanted another one with my baby dick flaccid and tiny. I know I need to trim up, and it's out of focus, but here it is.

I think the most embarrassing thing is that my pubes are longer than my dick.

Punishing Myself for Mistress: Part 1

After messing up a couple of time recently, my Mistress ordered me to come up with two different punishment ideas that I could do to myself. She is too far away to simply kick me in the balls when I mess up, so instead I have to punish myself when she orders. Coming up with your own punishment is not easy. I want it to be bad enough to please her, but hurting yourself is hard to do.

She liked my first idea, but not the second. The first was to stand naked in the corner, face against the wall, with clothespins on my balls, for 20 minutes. I was to think about how I messed up the entire time. The second idea was to snap my cock and balls with a rubber band. I guess the second idea wasn't good enough on its own, but good enough to be added to the other punishment.

So earlier today I stripped naked, wrapped a rubber band around my cock and balls, put two clothespins on each nut, stood facing the corner of my apartment, and set a time on my phone to go off every minute.

For the first 5 minutes or so I thought about how amazing my Mistress is and how lucky I am to have her as my owner. She has given me the opportunity to get to know her, to be a small part of her life, to worship her, to grow as a submissive, and to be her property. I know I take her for granted too often, but standing there reminded me that I need to focus on her and not slack off in my rules.

Snapping the rubber band on my tiny penis every minute stung really bad. A few of them hurt so bad that I started to double over in pain, but I stayed standing in the corner. The clothespins were really starting to sing too.

For the next 5 or so minutes I felt really sad about messing up. She deserves the best, and I don't always give it to her. I was really upset with myself, and I promised to do better.

For the remaining time I started to think about how short my attention span is, and how standing for 20 minutes without distractions is rare for me. That made me realize how easily I get side tracked with stupid things like the internet or TV when I should be focusing on her, and how if I avoided distractions wouldn't have messed up in the first place.

For the last minute I repeated "I'm sorry Mistress" over and over until the time went off one last time and I snapped the rubber band hard to end my punishment.

When I took the clothespins off it stung really bad, and I had pre-cum leaked all over my balls. I really think I learned me lesson with this punishment, but I have two more to go.....one more that was my idea and two additional ones that are hers. I'll report on them when they are complete.

Put Me In Coach!

Looks like my dick is ready for winter to be over and for baseball season to start, because he's got his tiny little baseball cap on. I think he might be able to play shortstop.... get it... "short" stop.... nevermind.

Actually, my Mistress ordered me to take a picture of my little dick wearing a little hat, so here's my little boner in a hat. I hope she likes it!

New Rules....No Masturbation Talk, It's Gross

Recently my Mistress had an encounter with someone that offered up way too much information about his masturbation habits. Even though this guy was not unattractive, unlike me, she was disgusted by hearing his little secret. Unfortunately, my Mistress is not able to boss around every male on the planet. But she can order me around, so she is taking out her frustrations on me.

So for the month of February, I am not allowed to talk about my masturbation habits. It really is gross for anyone that reads my blog or twitter to have to hear about rubbing my pathetic, disgusting little nub of a penis. Mistress always controls how and when I masturbate, and how and when I release, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to hear the details. My tiny cock is so revolting that I am sure it makes everyone sick when they read about using two fingers to tug on it.

I am supposed to mention, just once, that I am allowed to release twice a week and eat all of it every time. I am also allowed to edge twice.

I can mention that I have blue balls or that I am frustrated, but no mention of how or when I play with my baby dick.

So the "no masturbation talk" rule is in effect starting.....now!

This Is Why It's Hard To Pee With A Tiny Penis

About a week ago I blogged about the difficulties of peeing with a tiny dick. It really does make it hard to pee without making a mess. It was embarrassing to admit I can't pee like a real man, but that was nothing compared to what I'm about to do....provide visual evidence. You're about to see why my little penis makes is difficult to take a piss.

Here you can see that my little stub of a penis barely peeks past the fly of my pants. Most men whip out their cocks when they step up to a urinal, but I have to push my fly back and hope the tip of my dick makes it past.....

Here you can see why I have to wash my hands after taking a piss. It amazes me when I see a guy in a public restroom skip washing his hands, but I guess their dicks are long enough to avoid getting wet fingertips. I don't have much to grab onto, so when I do hold it to aim I get pee on my fingers.....

Sitting to pee is better, but not perfect. As you can see, my penis stub is so short that when I sit down it points instead of hangs. So when I sit to pee I have to remember to push it down so the pee stream doesn't go straight out and over the rim of the bowl.....

Slave Memories: Sidewalk Ballbusting

One of my favorite parts of serving as my Mistress's houseboy was kissing her feet before I left. I wasn't happy to leave her of course, but it was an honor to kiss her feet, especially while feeling good about getting all my chores done around her apartment. But one of my favorite memories of serving her is the one of the few times I did not kiss her feet as I left.

This particular day I believe I had the honor of doing her laundry, along with the dishes and sweeping and other stuff as usual. As I was getting ready to leave....which meant taking off my collar and putting my clothes back on....Mistress told me she was leaving too, so instead of kissing her feet, we walked out together.

It was always a thrill to be seen with her in public, even if it was for a short time as we walked down the sidewalk in her neighborhood. She is such a beautiful woman, and I imagine everyone that saw us together was very confused as to how I could even walk with her.

When we were about a half a block from the corner where we would go in opposite directions, she stopped and told me to come close to her right next to the building we were next to. She leaned in and I thought she was going to whisper something to me, but instead she suddenly punched me in the balls. Hard. She punched my nuts 4 or 5 times in rapid succession. I was not expecting this. The first punch nailed me square in the balls, and I doubled over. The next few did not land as directly as the first, but they still did damage. I was flinching a lot because that was my natural reaction. If it had been in session I would have tried not to flinch, but I was so surprised by her nut punches that I naturally flinched.

Then she started walking again, like punching me in the balls was no big deal. I tried to follow her, but I was hobbled over in pain. I eventually caught up to her and kept walking. She didn't say a word.

As we got the the corner where I was turning right and she was turning left, she gave my nuts one more solid back hand punch. I almost fell over in pain as I stumbled away from her. I managed to look back as she walked away. She looked so hot as she walked. She did not look back. She was so confident. I continued to stumble along in pain, and did notice there were a few people around that had to see what happened, but I didn't care. I was proud to provide my balls for her to punch.

CBT Target

For any Mistresses out there that want to practice some CBT, feel free to use this pic of my tiny penis and balls for target practice.

Shrinkage?

Here's a pic of my little dick after I spashed ice water all over it. I would say it looks small because of shrinkage, but it always looks like that. Actually, I was a little excited to be taking a picture, so it isn't at its absolute smallest.

Almost 4 Inches!

Wow...I almost measure at 4 inches in this pic!

Small Penis Handicaps...Peeing with a Tiny Dick

There are a lot of problems that come with having a really small penis. Obviously, it is difficult, if not impossible, to please a woman with a dick as small as mine. Another problem is finding condoms small enough to stay on my little penis. And there is the humiliation you feel when showering in a locker room and you're the smallest dick there. But there is another problem that all little-dicked guys have to deal with on a daily basis.....it's hard to pee with a small penis.

My Mistress has decided that I should pee sitting down from now on. It makes sense really, since men stand to pee, men have dicks, and my penis is closer to a clit than a dick. Every time I sit down to pee it reminds me of how pathetic my clit-dick is.

Standing to pee when your as small as I am is difficult. I'm only an inch or so long when soft, so I have to make sure I pull my little nub out as far as possible when I piss. I also have to make sure that the open fly of my pants is pushed back and away. I can't casually whip it out and go like most men. I have to make a conscious effort to get my pants out of the way.

Even if I get my baby-dick past my pants, I have to make sure I hit the toilet. I have to remember to get as close to the toilet as possible, and lean forward. Otherwise I dribble in the front of the rim or on the floor. I hate making a mess in my bathroom at home. And if I'm not careful, that's what happens. I doubt men with normal sized dicks have to clean the floor after every time they pee.

Another problem is public restrooms. I hate them. My dick is so small that I am embarrassed to pee in public urinals. I know most guys aren't looking, but I still get too nervous to go. It makes trips to the bathroom in crowded public places like bars, stadiums, and airports very difficult. I always think everyone who sees me go into a stall thinks I'm some kind of wimp that is scared to pee in public, which I am.

When I do manage to pee standing up without making a mess of my pants or the floor, I always get a little pee on my fingers. I don't have much of a dick to shake when I'm done, and it is so short that my fingers are really close to the end, so they always get some pee on them. I'm always amazed at the guys that don't wash their hands after pissing. It's really gross, but I assume there dicks are big enough that they can hold them at the base and still be far away from the pee stream.

So peeing sitting down is a better option, but it is still not perfect. You would think with a clit-dick I would be able to pee like a girl, but there is a problem. My flaccid penis is so short that it points instead of hangs. So I have to remember to push it down when I sit on the toilet. Otherwise the pee goes straight forward from my little acorn of a soft wiener, and can go over the front rim of the toilet. This makes a huge mess and is way worse than dribbling on the floor. It splashes all over the back of my legs and the pants I am wearing, and runs down the front of the toilet bowl too. I can clean up the toilet bowl, but getting the back of my pant legs covered in piss can only be fixed by doing laundry. And it looks odd to change your pants in the middle of the day for no reason. Imagine trying to explain that since you have a tiny penis, you have to sit to pee, but even that doesn't always work and you pissed all over yourself. It's humiliating.

This happened to me the other day, but luckily I was still wearing my PJ's so I didn't have to change pants in the middle of the day. The worst was when it happened on the first day of a long weekend trip, and I ruined one of the two pairs of pants I had packed.

So as you can see, having a tiny penis is a real handicap. It's more than the just the humiliation of being an inadequate sexual partner. It makes simple things like taking a leak very difficult. My penis is very pathetic and doesn't even function like a normal penis does. How sad.