Sunday, February 6, 2011
Punishing Myself for Mistress: Part 1
After messing up a couple of time recently, my Mistress ordered me to come up with two different punishment ideas that I could do to myself. She is too far away to simply kick me in the balls when I mess up, so instead I have to punish myself when she orders. Coming up with your own punishment is not easy. I want it to be bad enough to please her, but hurting yourself is hard to do.
She liked my first idea, but not the second. The first was to stand naked in the corner, face against the wall, with clothespins on my balls, for 20 minutes. I was to think about how I messed up the entire time. The second idea was to snap my cock and balls with a rubber band. I guess the second idea wasn't good enough on its own, but good enough to be added to the other punishment.
So earlier today I stripped naked, wrapped a rubber band around my cock and balls, put two clothespins on each nut, stood facing the corner of my apartment, and set a time on my phone to go off every minute.
For the first 5 minutes or so I thought about how amazing my Mistress is and how lucky I am to have her as my owner. She has given me the opportunity to get to know her, to be a small part of her life, to worship her, to grow as a submissive, and to be her property. I know I take her for granted too often, but standing there reminded me that I need to focus on her and not slack off in my rules.
Snapping the rubber band on my tiny penis every minute stung really bad. A few of them hurt so bad that I started to double over in pain, but I stayed standing in the corner. The clothespins were really starting to sing too.
For the next 5 or so minutes I felt really sad about messing up. She deserves the best, and I don't always give it to her. I was really upset with myself, and I promised to do better.
For the remaining time I started to think about how short my attention span is, and how standing for 20 minutes without distractions is rare for me. That made me realize how easily I get side tracked with stupid things like the internet or TV when I should be focusing on her, and how if I avoided distractions wouldn't have messed up in the first place.
For the last minute I repeated "I'm sorry Mistress" over and over until the time went off one last time and I snapped the rubber band hard to end my punishment.
When I took the clothespins off it stung really bad, and I had pre-cum leaked all over my balls. I really think I learned me lesson with this punishment, but I have two more to go.....one more that was my idea and two additional ones that are hers. I'll report on them when they are complete.