Saturday, September 26, 2009

Consensual humiliation

BDSM isn't for everyone, but even people that don't like it probably understand the thrill of being tied up or spanking someone. And I bet that most couples have one person that tends to take more control during sex. A leather clad dominatrix with a riding crop might even be a stimulating image for a lot of people. The very basics of BDSM probably don't freak out most open-minded people.

Now humiliation as a part of BDSM is a different story. People do not seem to understand how someone could enjoy being humiliated. They think it is a sign of deeper issues and that it cannot be healthy. Well the thrill of BDSM come from the exchange of power. Some people like taking control, some people like giving it up, and humiliation is just a tool that allows for that to happen. Small penis humiliation is just one way to go about it.

Small penis humiliation, or SPH, really seems to strikes a nerve. Women are trained to be sensitive to penis size and to tell their partners "size doesn't matter". Guys are told their penis size defines who they are as men. Real life rejection based on a small dick can be devastating and can scare men away from dating again. Yeah it is rough, but that is why it is so effective in consensual BDSM play. SPH in real life situations can be hard to take. It's happened to me before. I've been teased by a friend of my girlfriend. I've been teased after going skinny dipping. I've been told by a friend that I am very small. I can see how someone who isn't submissive would let this really get to him.

But that is why it is so perfect for consensual BDSM. Critics always forget that part though...it is consensual. For a submissive that gets off on SPH, it is a very effective way of getting into subspace. I feel the most vulnerable when I hear my Mistress laugh at my small penis.

Being teased about my small size is no different than being spanked or tied up. It is just a way to give up control to my Mistress. It is no different than any other fetish. She knows how far to push me, and shows concern if it seems like things are going too far. Just recently she checked with me that the direction she was taking was OK. She stopped to make sure I was fine and that I was still giving consent for this type of play. This is why consensual humiliation is different than real life situations....I gave her control, and she took it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

2 comments:

  1. Well written thoughts that apply to alot of us.

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  2. Yes nice to hear from someone similar to myself

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